A little humor...

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Guest

Guest
This is dedicated to all those who have been in the realm of health insurance way too long!


MEDICAL INSURANCE EXPLAINED

Q
. What does HMO stand for?
A.
This is actually a variation of the phrase , "HEY MOE ." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye .

Q
. I just joined an HMO . How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?
A.
Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents . Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the planThe doctors basically fall into two categories: those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan . But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country .

Q.
Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A.
No. Only those you need.

Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A.
Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment

Q.
What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A.
You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

QMy pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand . I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache What should I do?
A.
Poke yourself in the eye.

Q.
What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A
. You really shouldn't do that .

Q.
I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office?
A
Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20 co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot .

Q
Will health care be different in the next decade?
A.
No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then .
 
Lol. And the reason it's so funny is because it's true. I was on a group HMO during the birth of my son and we now needed a local pediatrician. The first 10 doctors we called were no longer accepting patients. We finally found one and had to book a month in advance for an appointment.
 
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