Critique my worksite telemarketing script

[Survivor]

I'm starting to focus on work site as it is what I'd like to do, but I need some help getting it rolling.

As for marketing, I've been opening the yellow pages and loosely using this script:
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Scenario 1 (medium to larger business that is locally owned and operated)
Employee:
Hello

Me:
Hi, can I speak to the person that handles your payroll and benefits?

Employee:
That's Donna at accounts payable, I'll transfer you

Me:
Hi Donna, this is so and so with so and so and I was getting in contact with some of the businesses here in the community to see if they had a voluntary benefits plan in place for their employees. What kind of plan do you have in place right now?

IF THERE IS A PLAN IN PLACE:
Me: Well that's great that you all already know the value of a voluntary benefits plan. I'd love to take a few minutes next week to sit down with you and show you how our package could offer your employees better benefits and possibly even be cheaper.

IF NO PLAN IS IN PLACE:
Me: Are you all aware of how a voluntary benefits plan can save both the employer and employees money. I must stress that this is at no cost to the employer, and it seems to improve employee morale and retention when benefits are offered through work. When would be a good time next week for us to take 15 minutes together for me to show you how I can help you all?

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Scenario 2, very small business or owned and operated by one person

Employee:
Hello

Me:
Hi, can I speak to the owner please?

Employee:
I am the owner.

Me:
I'm so and so and so and so. I work with small businesses on their benefits plans and I also work with the business owners to make sure that they are taken care of as well. How many employees do you have?

IF A FEW EMPLOYEES:
Me: Well being that you all are so small, it must be difficult to get good benefits for your employees. The thing I like about my company is that we can extend the same benefits to a small company as a big company can provide.

IF OWNER IS SOLE EMPLOYEE:
Me: Being that you own such a small business, it must be difficult to get the good benefits that a large corporation would provide. When can we meet next week to explore the opportunities that we can provide.

Thoughts?

It has worked with some success, but not as much as I'd like. Where are the weaknesses in this script?

 

[CHUMPS FROM OXFORD]

Since that is the first thing they are going to hear...perhaps you can spruce it up to keep their interest. Use phrases like "save you 20%-40% in premiums" or "new plans being offered by the major companies" or "I'll cut your liver out." OK. Scratch that last one.

 

[Survivor]

Since that is the first thing they are going to hear...perhaps you can spruce it up to keep their interest. Use phrases like "save you 20%-40% in premiums" or "new plans being offered by the major companies" or "I'll cut your liver out." OK. Scratch that last one.

LMAO. That was good! I had never considered the threat of violence before. Do you think that the DoI would have a problem with it?

 

[TXINSURANCE]

I always get calls "...can I speak to the person who handles your benefits..." and it screams telemarketer , not interested, no thanks.

You need a hook.

I know some agents who look through JOB POSTINGS to get the names of HR managers so they at least know who to speak with. A name goes real far - if you can get crafty , check out their website contact information, job postings, get some names to break the gate keeper.

 

[Survivor]

I can't remember what lead company sells leads that are essentially the name of the business with the owner's name and a phone number.

Any ideas?

 

[J.R.]

I can't remember what lead company sells leads that are essentially the name of the business with the owner's name and a phone number.

Any ideas?

Goleads, SalesUSA, etc.....pick your poison.

Joe has some great advice. I'd also goes so far as to visit the company and try to find out the name and location of the benefits manager, HR director, whatever "insert grandiose title" here before you approach somebody.

I have a 0 in 100 chance of getting much when I call a business and ask, "Is the owner available" in which I hear, "nope, bye!"

Live and learn. Hook up with a benefit from the get go and make them want to know more. "If you want to know more give me 10 minutes of your time. If I'm here/there any longer it's because you want me to be!

Watch Boiler Room before attempting any of the aforementioned techniques.

 

[TXINSURANCE]

Get a pre paid wireless... Call on day one and tell the receptionist you are supposed to email the HR manager your resume, what is her email again? It is usually a variation of their name.

Call back on your real line and ask for them like you are best friends.

I actually never did this - since we don't cold call or tele market, but it always blows my mind how many CRAPPY tele marketing calls I get at the office.

I do give 30 seconds to anyone who makes it through my gate keepers - which is hardly anyone. I always tell them - you got 30 seconds, make it good and fast. The only ones I ever gave another 30 seconds to are the ones that made me laugh or said something funny.

I also think there is a book at the library about the largest employers in your city / area and it has HR contact information - which of course may be outdated.

 

[J.R.]

Laughter is always a good thing. Pick up the books entitled, "The Psychology of Sales Call Reluctance" and "The Insurance Agent's Guide to Telephone Prospecting."

 

[arnguy]

Phew, for a second there, TXINSURANCE, I thought you were saying, "Get pre paid legal...."

 

[maxreferrals]

Try a letter to the person, short and sweet, following
the other suggestions included here.

Include an Alka-Seltzer, with a hook...

Dear John--

Is your benefits plan giving you headaches...

etc. etc.

Better if you can drop it off in person--in an envelope--with the person's name handwritten on it.