Please Critique My Marketing Idea

[warnerins]

I have been the recipient of many referrals from captive agents. These agents have entrusted in me, and my office, the confidence that I would write business for their clients - that they can't write.

The agreement is to write the new line of business and leave the rest of their products alone (no cross selling). As long as I agree to do this, it would seem to be beneficial for them to continue to send me referrals.

Last week I wrote 4 pieces of business from this type of referral. I have been wanting to create an email to send to several agents and last night put this together as a first draft. Please critique, criticize, suggest and give me your honest feedback. Writing is not my strong point.


Fellow Agent,

My name is Tim Warner and I am the agent/owner of Warner Insurance, LLC. We are located on the west side of Albuquerque in the Ventana Ranch community.

The purpose of this introduction is to offer my agencies products, expertise and services to you and your clients.

We currently represent:

1. Three access and surplus lines commercial brokerage firms.
2. Seven preferred commercial lines carriers.
3. Placement opportunities for vacant homes, mobile homes and claims/MVR challenged risks.

As an agent with 18 years of experience, I am continually educating myself on the current complex insurance needs of today's clients. There seems to be a growing list of these individuals and families that own businesses, vacant homes and other risks that are out of the normal scope of what we do.

I also, understand the frustration of explaining to a client that the agency doesn't have a market for a product that they are looking for. Then, watching them walk out the door and down the street to a competitor.

With that in mind, I would like to personally offer you our "Hands On/Hands Off Services"

Here is the Hands On:

• Your referral/client will be personally contacted by me the same day.
• Your client will receive VIP treatment and expedited to the top of our list for quoting, underwriting and servicing.
• Your client will always be handled with the courtesy and professionalism that you would expect.
• And, all will receive a 30, 60, 90 day new client courtesy call and annual review (annual review results can and will be provided to you).

Here is the Hands Off:

• My Agency will always consider your referral to be your client.
• At no time will your client be prospected for additional lines. In fact, your client will be earmarked in our management system as "VIP Hands Off". This will remove them from our e-marketing, newsletters and cross selling processes.
• At any point in the relationship that a client expresses interest in additional lines, they will be referred back to you.

I sincerely appreciate your consideration and, if interested, would encourage a face to face meeting.

Please email me at [email protected]

Respectfully,


Tim Warner
President
Warner Insurance, LLC
505-899-7000

 

[SoCalBroker]

Pretty good piece Tim. Im going to go over it in more detail but ...

This is just too weird!!!

Im putting the finishing touches on a 21 page report right now ... that shows Indi agents and brokers how to do just that - successfully. Using the formula and techniques we've developed over a 42 yr period.

This model has taken a So Cal agency from around $8m gross premiums to a little over $18m in an 8-9 yr run. All new business principally derived from this type of referral arrangement. [P&C]

In the report I fast track you with info about WHO are the right Captives to contact and who are a waste of time. We've tried em all Farmers, Allastate, Liberty, Sentry, State Farm etc ...

I show you the exact URL we use to find them ...

I show you the killer little software tool we use to harvest their entire contact data - and pump it directly into Outlook [which is then exportable to anything]

I show you HOW we have successfully built relationships with approx 100 captives from NorCal to the Mexican Border - up and down california.

The message we use to get their attention...

the 5 key reasons and elements they need to hear to want to start working with us / you

The Do's and Do Not's that can kill a relationship with a certain captive, and how making that mistake can spread like wildfire in their tight knit community.

I give you the two techniques we use to address a few issues that arise from clients wanting you to write their business away from their Captive ... I show you how to handle it in such a way it makes you the Captive's Hero, and trust goes sky high.

And how to keep the pump primed at all times.

I show you the system we use to get the Captives office staff to Fall In Love with Your Agency ...

Sample marketing pieces, and copy too ...

... in short - you'll find out how a < $500 investment in your business and a plan can net you a lifetime of income that is SUBSTANTIAL.

Report is being reviewed by a few friends at the moment - I anticipate it will be complete by weeks end and I plan on having it available for $97 via Download PDF eBook
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

We currently represent:

1. Three access and surplus lines commercial brokerage firms.

Not to nit pick ... Im sure you meant Excess & Surplus Lines. You only do Commercial lines in surplus? :-) Havent you had to place some homes in the surplus markets out there?

 

[warnerins]

Nice SoCal........

By the way I want one of these pdf's Let me know.

Thanks for the correction (I was expecting allot more) Sometimes I can't keep up with my thoughts and then read it so many times everything looks cool.

I would love to hear from a captive agent and their thoughts on how they would receive this email.

 

[xrac]

Tim, not bad but I think it could stand some improvement. First, I think you need to grab their attention immediately and it needs to be less stiff. With that in mind here is a quick editing as far as changes I would consider. They are only for your consideration since I do not consider myself to be a great writer either.

Dear Fellow Agent,

Are you ever frustrated to explain to a client that the agency doesn't have a market for a product that they are seeking. Then, watch them walk out the door and down the street knowing they are headed into the arms of a competitor. With that in mind, I would like to personally offer you our :

"Hands On/Hands Off Services"​

My name is Tim Warner and I am the agent/owner of Warner Insurance, LLC. We are located on the west side of Albuquerque in the Ventana Ranch community.

Hands On:

• Your referral/client will be personally contacted by me the same day.
• Your client will receive VIP treatment, expedited to the top of our list for quoting, underwriting and servicing.
• Your client will always be handled with the courtesy and professionalism that you would expect.
• And, all will receive a 30, 60, 90 day new client courtesy call and annual review (annual review results can and will be provided to you).

Hands Off:

• My Agency will always consider your referral to be your client.
• At no time will your client be prospected for additional lines. Your client will be earmarked in our management system as "VIP Hands Off". This will remove them from our e-marketing, newsletters and cross selling processes.
• At any point in the relationship that a client expresses interest in additional lines, they will be referred back to you.

We currently represent:

1. Three access and surplus lines commercial brokerage firms.
2. Seven preferred commercial lines carriers.
3. Placement opportunities for vacant homes, mobile homes and claims/MVR challenged risks.

As an agent with 18 years of experience, I am continually educating myself on the current complex insurance needs of today's clients. There seems to be a growing list of these individuals and families that own businesses, vacant homes and other risks that are out of the normal scope of what most agents provide.

If I can help you please call or email me. I will be happy to meet with you for further discussion. Please email me at [email protected]


Respectfully,


Tim Warner
President
Warner Insurance, LLC
505-899-7000

 

[CHUMPS FROM OXFORD]

Nice. I believe Allstate does this...at least in this area they do.

 

[warnerins]

xrac

Thanks for the time spent. I will show your version to the brains of the family (my Wife). Then, spend tomorrow tweaking it. I am hoping to have this portion of the campaign figured out by Tuesday and then spend that day gathering email addresses.

I am going to follow-up with another quick email (for those that have not responded) and then phase three.

 

[SoCalBroker]

Im no copy writer either ... but Im studying it a bit as of late.

Here's my take.

I dont think there is anything WRONG with you letter Tim. I think it's focus is a bit more on YOU than on them. It's seems to discuss FEATURES ... vs. Benefits. Is your letter dialed into W.I.I.F.M. Whats In It For Me. I know you know the game of why these guys should be referring you business - you have an established netowrk and its working ... What are the reasons these guys need you? Because your hands off? Nope ... because they have a problem and you can solve it. They have a PAIN and you help relive it. Your letter has no PAIN in it really.

There's a few common models or formulas for sales letter copy - most common is A.I.D.A.

A - Attention Use an Attention Grabbing Headline

I - Interest Create Interest

D - Desire Create Desire

A - Action Have a STRONG call to Action

Attention ...

Can A Competing Independent Broker Really Help
Captive Agents Save As Much As $17,497 In
Commissions From Walking Out Their Backdoor?

Interest ... [PAINs]

Dear XYz,

Perhaps you're like the handful of other Captive Agents I'm working with? You've had about enough of your company's underwriting limitations causing treasured clients to walk out your back door and through your competitors front door.

Desire ... [ Pain Relief / Benefits ]

By working with us you will retain more business / offer more solutions / build an impenetrable barrier around your book that will keep competitors from scavenging your treasured clients. You will no longer have to cast your clients whole account out on the street / to the wolves ...

Action .... Call to Action

Where are the response mechanisms? Email / Phone / Web Site Landing Page / Free Report / You Tube Video testimonials of other agents workign with you? What are they supposed to do? What is your desired response? Get back to you when they get-around-to-it?

How about ....

John .. I ve installed a special 800 number just for my Captive Agent firends to call when they need something ... Please give me a call and let me help you keep more of your clients policies safe and in your office where they belong. We have a very successful game plan that is working exceedingly well to do just that. I can provide references for you as well. We're looking forward to your call. I may just ring you up as well.

Where's the PS? Always have a unique memorable PS!

PS - I dont know how you do it bro ... you have a lot of good marketing going on, and you just keep it rockin' You're a marketing machine! Keep it up...
​

 

[xrac]

Im no copy writer either ... but Im studying it a bit as of late.

Here's my take.

I dont think there is anything WRONG with you letter Tim. I think it's focus is a bit more on YOU than on them. It's seems to discuss FEATURES ... vs. Benefits. Is your letter dialed into W.I.I.F.M. Whats In It For Me. I know you know the game of why these guys should be referring you business - you have an established netowrk and its working ... What are the reasons these guys need you? Because your hands off? Nope ... because they have a problem and you can solve it. They have a PAIN and you help relive it. Your letter has no PAIN in it really.

There's a few common models or formulas for sales letter copy - most common is A.I.D.A.

A - Attention Use an Attention Grabbing Headline

I - Interest Create Interest

D - Desire Create Desire

A - Action Have a STRONG call to Action

Attention ...

Can A Competing Independent Broker Really Help
Captive Agents Save As Much As $17,497 In
Commissions From Walking Out Their Backdoor?​

Interest ... [PAINs]​

Dear XYz,​

Perhaps you're like the handful of other Captive Agents I'm working with? You've had about enough of your company's underwriting limitations causing treasured clients to walk out your back door and through your competitors front door.​

Desire ... [ Pain Relief / Benefits ]​

By working with us you will retain more business / offer more solutions / build an impenetrable barrier around your book that will keep competitors from scavenging your treasured clients. You will no longer have to cast your clients whole account out on the street / to the wolves ...​

Action .... Call to Action​

Where are the response mechanisms? Email / Phone / Web Site Landing Page / Free Report / You Tube Video testimonials of other agents workign with you? What are they supposed to do? What is your desired response? Get back to you when they get-around-to-it?​

How about ....​

John .. I ve installed a special 800 number just for my Captive Agent firends to call when they need something ... Please give me a call and let me help you keep more of your clients policies safe and in your office where they belong. We have a very successful game plan that is working exceedingly well to do just that. I can provide references for you as well. We're looking forward to your call. I may just ring you up as well.​

Where's the PS? Always have a unique memorable PS!​

PS - I dont know how you do it bro ... you have a lot of good marketing going on, and you just keep it rockin' You're a marketing machine! Keep it up...​

I like the advice and tips.​

 

[rbrewer]

What advice would you give for an agent who is just starting and wants to do this and does not have any testimonials or other agencies they are working with yet as references?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I would also like a copy of your information when it is ready. My email is [email protected]

 

[1manshow]

Tim,

Are you providing testimonials from the agents who you are currently working with ? Or some other validation that you will not touch the other lines ? On the surface that would seem to be the biggest stumbling block.... trust