Does This Sound Good to You?

[briko3]

Revised and updated. What do you guys think?

Mr. ________, this is ________with _______. (Pause and let them respond) Do you have a minute for me to explain why I’m calling? Thank you.

I work with successful small businesses on the specific challenges that owners like you face, like how to pass your business on tax efficiently if something happens to you or keep it running if you face a medical crisis.

I also help busy owners navigate the world of benefits, retirement and insurance planning so they can concentrate on growing their business, not on what new tax law might affect their situation.

I’d like the opportunity to come by, introduce myself, and talk to you a little bit about your business and where you see yourself in the future to see if it would make sense for us to work together. Would sometime this ____ or _____ work for you?

 

[Y.L. Prinzel]

I think the end is too passive. "See if it makes sense for us to work together?" No...you already know that it makes sense for you both to work together. What I would say is,

"I’d like to come by and talk to you about the goals you have for your business and what I can do to help you get there."

I'd also play up the outsourced HR angle.

Last--I would prefer questions in the beginning. Instead of saying, "I work with successful small businesses on the specific challenges that owners like you face, like how to pass your business on tax efficiently if something happens to you or keep it running if you face a medical crisis."

I would say,

"Have you and your advisors worked on a plan to XXX?" That way you find out if they already have someone they know and trust advising them and you plant the question and need in their head. Also, if they say no, it gives you the chance to list possible suggestions that whet their appetite and display your knowledge. Certainly might make them more interested in meeting with you.

 

[briko3]

Very good points. Thanks a lot...I especially like that first part.