I am an adjuster and do auto property only; no homes, no injury stuff. I didn't even try my own company.
This started with me trying to get insurance on both of us. I have good family history and thought I'd get a good rating. But I had shoulder surgery for a torn labrum in 2011. That made me standard. I was disappointed.
Then when he started asking questions about my wife, I said yes she took medication. My wife has been on the medication since grade school but has never had any issues. He took all her information, sold me a policy the next day and then never called back about my wife. He had told me when he took the information that a lot of companies would reject her because of the pills and maybe he could find some place to get her "rated" or something. When he never called back, I just figured he struck out with the companies he sold for.
They said you had to go Standard for a torn labrum? At most they should limit Premium Waiver or other benefits for a year or two; a torn labrum repaired with no complications isn't going to kill you or prevent you from giving me money.
As for your wife, it sounds like the carrier just has a REALLY bad experience with ADHD risks and has wrenched up their standards. That or someone had their facts mixed up.