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There have been those that claim insurance companies will hire anybody that can fog a mirror. However, your post proves that not to be the case. Insurance companies are much more selective than whatever school system employed you and you couldn't even hack it there.
Don't waste your time and money completing the interviews because you will never make it as an agent. You do not have the intelligence to be successful in sales. Only a dimwit would come to a forum made up of insurance agents and call what they do a, "silly 100% commission job".
You say "I have sent out close to 500 resumes. Many of the employers that respond to me are 100% "flakey" commission jobs." What do expect when you aren't even motivated enough to at least research a company enough to know what their needs are before you send them your resume? Face it, no matter how high your opinion is of yourself, the world is not sitting there breathlessly just waiting for you to come to the rescue.
I hate to tell you this but people who deliver pizzas, do telemarketing and work as bellhops are so far above you that it isn't even funny. Instead of sitting around whining and acting as the are entitled, they provide a much needed service and most of them do it with enthusiasm and a smile.
Insurance companies may not hire anyone that can fog a mirror but FMO/IMO's will. He is just trying to get into this business through the wrong channel.
i would be willing to bet that some marketers have already sent him private messages thru this site with offers.