Final Expense Funny Happenings

[Joe Moore]

One of my BEST true stories started when I called from a lead card and set an appt for Tuesday but with the condition that she may be called away at the last minute due to her work. I asked what kind of work she did and she told me she was an escort so nonchalantly that it didn't even occur to me what she meant. I work with escorts every day...they ride motorcycles ahead of the funeral processions.

So...I show up for the appointment and she was the "other" kind of escort. It was her, her boyfriend/business manager and a couple of little kids running around. She has her boyfriend watch the kids and told him to "hold any calls for her. She was not available."

She was very serious about buying preneed insurance so we figure everything out and it was very high-end stuff. She wants the best of everything. We are getting close to getting the first check and signatures and the phone rings. I figure no problem...she told him to hold her calls.

The boyfriend sticks his head in the door and says "You might want to take this one. He says you will remember him from the Days Inn two weeks ago."

She jumps up and says "Oh I HAVE to take this call! I'll just be a minute."

She comes back in the room and says, I've got to leave for about an hour. You can wait here or we can meet back here this afternoon if you want. I met her back that afternoon and closed the deal. I better clarify that...I got the check and signatures.

Many of you won't believe this is a true story but it definitely is. But she lapsed at the 2nd months premium. I drove by and the house was completely empty and phone disconnected. No happy ending...unless you're the Day's Inn guy.

Newby, great story. The agents that have never worked this market have missed a lot.

Your story reminded me of another classic of ours. About 17 years ago, another agent and I had the job of going through the insurance files of a funeral home. We had done very well with "updating" the clients coverage.

One day we had an appointment at a home that was virtually built on a rock and dirt cliff-about 40-50 feet from the road. The only way to get to it was a chiseled-out set of steps going up this cliff--it had NO handrails or anything to keep you from falling off. I was ready to turn around and forget it but the other agent got about 1/2 way up and I thought....you just die once.

Once we made the trek up the cliff, we found a FORMER rattlesnake-handling preacher, and his 3 great looking daughters--all between 18 and 24. The preacher was more interested in giving away one of the girls to us than discussing insurance.

He directly asked, "Do you guys need a woman to take with you"? My response was that my wife probably would not understand or appreciate a new roommate. But, I volunteered my single buddy. Listening to him stutter and stammer was worth the price of admission, but he declined also. All 3 girls were sitting around listening, and all 3 were ready to rumble.

We found out the preacher had once given away the oldest one for about 3 years, but she had been dumped back on the preacher with 2 new additions. He explained it was getting harder and harder to support his growing family, and really could not afford insurance.

He also explained to us why he was a FORMER rattlesnake handling preacher. He still went to church, and preached when asked, but steered clear of the rattlesnakes. He had been bitten on the arm, and after touch and go for about 2 or 3 months, he survived. He decided his faith was maybe not as strong as he once thought. He wanted to stick around so he could preach the funerals of the other snakehandlers. He sort of had an inside track to the funerals and picked up extra money that way.

They all invited us to go to church with them, but we respectfully both declined.

We packed up our bags, inched our way down the cliff (without any women or kids) and decided maybe there were better prospects available. But, I have often wondered if he ever found someone to take the daughters off his hands.

Only in Tennessee!

 

[FLBrkr]

Ahhh! Now that is the TN I remember. All that story needed was 3 legged dog, a broken tractor and a kid with a mile between his eyes and a banjo. Somewhere in this thread is a good country song just itching to get out.

 

[Guest]

I was running a debit route in a nearby town. This little old lady customer of mine wanted to talk about some fire insurance and we sold industrial fire coverage. She was very active, still driving and even mowed her own lawn. She only liked talking business with her daughter present.

We set a date and with her daughter present (also a customer of mine) we met and got down to business. I started filling out the app and asked her age. She said that she was 80 years old and looked the part. Then her daughter kindly informed her ( and me) that she was 90. The lady got the funniest look on her face and said that she was sure that she was 80. She finally pulled out her driver's license to prove her point and was shocked to see that she was indeed 90 years old. I must tell you that this woman went into an immediate depressed state and we had to give her a pep talk to bring her around. She was so sweet and I felt bad for her but it was hilarious at the same time.

 

[Norwayguy]

This is not a debit or FE story...this is the story of a TSA appt I went on once. I had set up this appt for the evening with a young teacher at her home to set up a retirement account. I get there and find out she is married but the husband is away this week..no problem we start discussing different types of retirment otpions annuities mutual funds etc...as we are writing up the application she gives me a funny look and asks me to excuse her for a minute and she goes into the bathroom...I'm filling out the rest of the app so all I need is signatures here the bathroom door open and out she comes in just her birthday suit. She offers me her charms...I declined due to the fact that my wife takes her vows seriously and has a gun I grab my stuff and get out of there with out finishing the appt....I know everyone will tell me I should have got those signatures but it wouldn't have made much of a difference she was arrested the next week for having sex with a couple of her underage students.

I don't take it too hard when I know people are hiding in there homes because they don't want to have the appt they set...but every now and then it can piss me off....If its nice and I don't have any appts scheduled I will sometimes get them back...I'll walk back to my car like I'm leaving and then start my act dang a flat tire...I call AAA on my cell phone...what do you mean an 1 1/2...okay I'l be waiting and give there address and then sit on the prospects porch and start dowing some paperwork...I really love how these people now either have to come out and appologize which they never do or have to stay hidden and quiet for however long I decide to stay on there porch...I also leave my card on the door and write over on the front and on the back I mention that I didn't have a flat and that I appreciate the use of there porch and if they want to do it again sometime to give me a call...I've only done this twice and never use my securities card that gives a branch office number I only leave my fixed card that has all contacts as my home office...

 

[Joe Moore]

Another one I thought of. About 18-20 years ago.

While we were working the insurance files of a funeral home, the funeral home gets a call from a lady wanting to buy life insurance on her and her husband. They give us the call and we got the address, and scheduled an appointment after lunch. We look at the address and recognize it as a commercial area.

We show up at "Kitty's Bar", and Kitty, beautiful and 26 years old (very scantily dressed in very close to her birthday suit) wants to purchase as much life insurance as she could without a physical or telephone interview on her and her husband (who was nowhere to be seen). Kitty wanted to own her husband's policy. FLAG! FLAG! FLAG!

I explained to Kitty that we had a company that would write $25,000, with no telephone interview but would require her husband to sign his application, and we did not have to witness the signature. That was fine. When we took the applications, we discovered that Kitty's husband was 35 years older than her, and she was the owner and payor. FLAG! FLAG! FLAG!

Kitty completed her application and called us the next day with her husband's signed application, paid us and we went on our way.
WHERE THIS PICTURE CAME FROM, I HAVE NO CLUE.
I HAVE TRIED TO DELETE IT, AND IT WILL NOT LEAVE!
Joe


We mailed the applications to the company, and did some soul searching whether we should have done this or not. But, we decided we had done nothing contrary to the rules of the company, or the laws of the state.

We sort of sweated out the first couple of years, but the older husband made it past contestibility fine. After about 30 months, I got a notice that a claim had been paid; not on the husband, but on Kitty. We found out Kitty had died of AIDS. Her husband was probably the most surprised person in the world when he got a $25,000 check. And yes, this funeral home that provided the lead filed the claim and buried Kitty.

It seems Kitty had the whole thing planned. If she died first, she really wanted her husband to be able to bury her and pay off her bills. If he died first, she wanted to have some money available to her. I have often wondered if Kitty ever let him know what he was signing, or just got him in a compromising situation and said "Sign Here".

The last I was aware, there had not been a claim on the husband, and the policy was still in force. He would now be somewhere around age 80.

 

[Newby]

Before I was in insurance, I ran a Honda motorcycle dealership.

Had a lady come in one day in a mink coat (very unusual) I leaped over 2 salesmen to wait on her. She wanted an ATV (3-wheeler) for her kids. I sell it to her and she says "What have you got for a 13 year old girl? I show her the scooters (mo-ped types) and she says bring two of those too.

Over the next few weeks she calls and has me deliver more ATVs and scooters to her house. There is a bunch of oddballs living at her house and a LOT of kids.

Next thing I know the Feds need to talk to me. They're asking all about her and what she has bought.

Turns out she snuffed out her husband and stuffed him in a dumpster. She was blowing through the insurance money trying to keep everybody quiet.

She was a nice lady.

 

[G.Gordon]

Funny claim...

I had written two $15k policies for Shenandoah on a couple. She had COPD, but didn't use oxygen, blah blah blah. She passed U/W just fine. About 14 months later I get a notice from Shen. on the claim wanting my exact accounting of the application process, who was there, who answered the questions etc. Kinda made me nervous.

I called the husband and confirmed that she passed away a couple of weeks ago... I didn't ask, but assumed COPD killed her. Just before I got off the phone he told me they called and recorded a phone conversation about the application, how the agent asked the questions, who was there, and was the illness that killed her an existing condition. He went off on them...

"SHE DIED BECAUSE SHE WAS FULL OF ****."

And he hung up.

I'm wondering what the heck? Then he explained that she had an impacted bowel that caused severe infection and it killed her.

I called cliams at Shen and asked them about the call and the lady handling it about died when I told her what he meant by "Full of Sh#t.

Good ol' country folks.

 

[Joe Moore]

Ahhh! Now that is the TN I remember. All that story needed was 3 legged dog, a broken tractor and a kid with a mile between his eyes and a banjo. Somewhere in this thread is a good country song just itching to get out.

Never thought of that.
You may be right. Pigs, chickens, moonshine, shotguns, bib overalls, etc. could also fit well.

Here is maybe some ideas:

There's a lotta good luvin' up on top tha hill
If my leg's 'ill jus get me there, I've sure got the will

Daddy's more than willin' to let his girls go
If only I could get there, with all this dam'n snow

I've got a big problem if I ever reach the top
There's more than I can handle, and I don't know when to stop

Daddy's got a shotgun, hung on the wall with tape
No man gettin' there has a way to escape

With all our brains on here, surely we can come up with a hit song.


Maybe these old songs touch a little on this:

WOLVERTON MOUNTAIN


(this is the opposite, Daddy wants to keep his girl)

EASY LOVING



AFTER LOVE IN THE HOT AFTERNOON:





We might consider going to see ol' Creole Williams before we go to the top:



The way I remember the appointment, it was in a old house about like in this video.

Anybody with any music talent out there?

 

[G.Gordon]

The thread about a consumer's response to a lead card reminded me of one...

We finish the telephone interview and they get the confirmation that they've been accepted, blah blah blah...

I'm about to wrap it up and he says:

(talking to his wife)

"Honey, now that I'm insured... I've been meaning to tell you I bought a new four wheeler. It's over at my brothers."

wife:

"I'm going to see this young man out and we're going to talk."


I haven't seen a claim come across my desk yet.

 

[yabba]

Next time I get real hungry you're gonna have to
send me a list of your Slovic clients. Any Ukrainian ones?