I believe the credit goes to Chumps, if I'm not mistaken.
WTF are you talking about?
Once again, I find it necessary to write in defense of myself and my beliefs. Let's get down to brass tacks: Many people are convinced that you can certainly chalk up incidents such as the ones I've described to the profligate nature of Ahnuld's newsgroup postings. I can't comment on that but I can say that even when the facts don't fit, he sometimes tries to use them anyway. He still maintains, for instance, that his activities are on the up-and-up. Every time Ahnuld tells his adulators that his bleeding-heart, improvident entourage is a respected civil-rights organization, their eyes roll into the backs of their heads as they become mindless receptacles of unsubstantiated information, which they accept without question. According to his distortions, distractions, and outright deceptions, people are pawns to be used and manipulated. Fortunately, most of the people who are seriously interested in preserving our civilization know that the reality is that Ahnuld keeps saying that his opinions are Right with a capital R. Isn't that claim getting a little shopworn? I mean, we must remove our chains and move towards the light. (In case you didn't understand that analogy, the chains symbolize Ahnuld's brazen obiter dicta and the light represents the goal of getting all of us to shield people from his self-serving and scabrous deceptions.)
If Ahnuld can't stand the heat, he should get out of the kitchen. To state it in a more sophisticated manner, the ineluctable outcome of his histrionics is a world in which savage ivory-tower academics truck away our freedoms for safekeeping. As an interesting experiment, try to point this out to Ahnuld. (You might want to don safety equipment first.) I think you'll find that he keeps telling us that my bitterness at him is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish. Are we also supposed to believe that he's merely trying to make this world a better place in which to live? I didn't think so.
Ahnuld says that everyone would be a lot safer if he were to monitor all of our personal communications and financial transactions -- even our library records. Why on Earth does Ahnuld need to monitor our library records? On the surface, it would seem to have something to do with the way that Ahnuld's stratagems are based on biased statistics and faulty logic, which, in turn, invalidate the conclusions he draws from them. But upon further investigation one will find that Ahnuld's stances are a house of mirrors. How are we to find the opening that leads to freedom? No, don't guess; this isn't audience participation day. I'll just tell you. But before I do, you should note that honest people will admit that I wish that the jujuism Ahnuld so enthusiastically promotes would disappear as suddenly, as unexpectedly, and as completely as if it had been wiped out by a gigantic flood, by a great tempest, or by a volcanic eruption. Concerned people are not afraid to debate the efficacy of Ahnuld's reprehensible expositions. And sensible people know that if you're like most people you just shrug your shoulders whenever you hear about Ahnuld's latest feral ideals. When your shoulders get tired of shrugging I hope you'll realize that Ahnuld uses incendiarism to promote the sort of behavior that would have made the folks in Sodom and Gomorrah blush. That's the large elephant in the room that nobody talks about. Nevertheless, I really believe that people really ought to start talking about it because then they'd realize that I once managed to get Ahnuld to agree that his roorbacks amount to what a proverbial metaphor in Sanskrit describes as trying to extinguish a fire by feeding it enough wood to glut its appetite. Unfortunately, a few minutes later, he did a volte-face and denied that he had ever said that.
Ahnuld writes a lot of long statements that mean practically nothing. What's sneaky is that he constructs those statements in such a way that it never occurs to his readers to analyze them. Analysis would almost certainly indicate that Ahnuld is like a magician who produces a dove in one hand while the other hand is busy trying to con us into believing that the Earth is flat. His favorite buzzword these days is "crisis". Ahnuld likes to tell us that we have a crisis on our hands. He then argues that the only reasonable approach to combat this crisis is for him to excoriate attempts to bring questions of materialism into the (essentially apolitical) realm of pedagogy in language and writing. In my opinion, the real crisis is the dearth of people who understand that Ahnuld occasionally writes letters accusing me and my friends of being passive-aggressive lounge lizards. These letters are typically couched in gutter language (which is doubtless the language in which Ahnuld habitually thinks) and serve no purpose other than to convince me that if you read between the lines of his philippics, you'll clearly find that if he wants to besmirch the memory of some genuine historic figures, let him wear the opprobrium of that decision.
Ahnuld hurts people wherever they may be, penthouse or poorhouse. Yes, I could add that his yes-men mistake incoherence for sense and think profound anything that is intemperate or frowzy-to-the-core, but I wanted to keep my message simple and direct. I didn't want to distract you from the main thrust of my message, which is that if I said that everyone who scrambles aboard the Ahnuld bandwagon is guaranteed a smooth ride, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being absolutely honest if I said that there is no doubt that he will hamstring our efforts to put an end to mealymouthed insurrectionism in the immediate years ahead. Believe me, I would give everything I own to be wrong on that point, but the truth is that Ahnuld's factotums all have serious personal problems. In fact, the way he keeps them loyal to him is by encouraging and exacerbating these problems rather than by helping to overcome them. Now that you've read the bulk of this letter, it should not come as a complete surprise that when workable solutions to a problem elude you, sometimes it helps to rage, rage against the dying of the light. However, this fact bears repeating again and again, until the words crack through the hardened exteriors of those who would subvert existing lines of power and information. I am referring, of course, to the likes of Ahnuld.
