Agency owner is a bully

[scagnt83]

Inappropriate response to the person you responded to.

Not sure if we know son wants to know, or is ready to hear, some of the things said here.

Dad is helicoptering pretty strong.

I disagree. The kid is obviously having active conversations with his father about the situation. Going to him for advice about the situation. The father knows what the son is or is not ready to hear or needs to hear much better than any of us.

My father never pushed to butt into my professional career. But when I asked him for advice or shared with him about issues... he made an effort to give solid advice. He didnt say "your an adult, figure it out".

Being a parent doesnt stop once your kid is 18. It changes, but it doesnt stop.

If a son cant go to their father for career advice, what kind of father is that?? A sh*tty one if you ask me.

This father didnt know what he didnt know about the industry. But he knew he didnt know, and his gut and experience told him something was off. And he was 100% correct. So he went to experts to find out what the best advice is for the situation. Kudos to him.

 

[vic120]

I disagree. The kid is obviously having active conversations with his father about the situation. Going to him for advice about the situation. The father knows what the son is or is not ready to hear or needs to hear much better than any of us.

My father never pushed to butt into my professional career. But when I asked him for advice or shared with him about issues... he made an effort to give solid advice. He didnt say "your an adult, figure it out".

Being a parent doesnt stop once your kid is 18. It changes, but it doesnt stop.

If a son cant go to their father for career advice, what kind of father is that?? A sh*tty one if you ask me.

This father didnt know what he didnt know about the industry. But he knew he didnt know, but his gut and experience told him something was off. And he was 100% correct. So he went to experts to find out what the best advice is for the situation. Kudos to him.

This 150%

 

[WinoBlues]

Being a parent doesnt stop once your kid is 18. It changes, but it doesnt stop.

Truth

Hey pop, what do you think about.... , Hi dad. I have a question..... Hey Old Man, got a minute to come by for a beer? I have a tritip on. We have something we want to run something past you....
Hi Pop, we found a problem with our plumbing, how do you ......

All stuff I hear from my kids from time to time. Somewhat regular. I like it.

 

[NCAgent828]

Inappropriate response to the person you responded to.

Not sure if we know son wants to know, or is ready to hear, some of the things said here.

Dad is helicoptering pretty strong.

You may not have kids, but this is exactly what a father should be doing. He is not overstepping but trying to offer sound wise advice from others in the industry. I'm sure his son is also asking his network some of the same questions.

At some point your children will likely stop coming to you for advice. Wonder who they will be going to? Are you ready to accept that they may be hearing some terrible advice from those who do not have their best interest in mind? Hope all goes well for you. I'll keep offering my kids my thoughts until I'm dead.

 

[LostDollar]

Caveat, not an agent.

Helicopter parent:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent

A helicopter parent (also called a cosseting parent or simply a cosseter) is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions.[1] Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they "hover overhead", overseeing every aspect of their child's life constantly.[1][2] A helicopter parent is also known to strictly supervise their children in all aspects of their lives, including in social interactions


Op is helicoptering.

He does not have an overly positive view of his son's choice of work and he also appears to be attempting to live his son's life for him.

Don't ask me why but my son absolutely loves his job, loves making numerous calls every day and closing once in a while. He just wants to work. It sounds ridiculous but I'm not embellishing, unfortunately.

He moved out of the house and got his own apartment at 18. He's 20 now, independent,p responsible, makes his own way through life and works his ass off.

On last thing. I question my son as to his success or lack of to make sure he's not embellishing his accomplishments. He pays his rent, pays for his car, gas, food etc. One thing I can't understand is motive. Why would an owner or someone high up in the company want to thwart anyone's success.......This is why I've asked my son time and time again about how well he's doing.

It might be that son moved out at 18 to get some distance from an overly controlling parent.

And it might be that some of his fear of failure comes from a fear of having to be back under more direct control of parent--unless he chooses to stress the parent child relationship some more by further increasing his separation.

 

[Tahoe Ray]

Op is helicoptering.

No he isn't. The kid is 20. Most people that age have no idea what they don't know.

He's just being a good dad, looking out for his kid.

And frankly, he's right. The kid is not in a good spot based on what dad is saying...

 

[LostDollar]

No he isn't. The kid is 20. Most people that age have no idea what they don't know.

He's just being a good dad, looking out for his kid.

And frankly, he's right. The kid is not in a good spot based on what dad is saying...

There are at least two sets of issues involved here, maybe more.

There are psychology/family relationship issues and technical insurance professional issues.

As newby posted, the psychology issues are complex.

and

Obviously you disagree, but I think OP is pushing parent relationship too far in this situation.

Op's posts indicate he already knows the basic solution to the situation and until son is willing to deal with that, his situation is not going to change much.

We have had people op's son's age come directly to the forum themselves and interact directly with experienced agents. Op's post leave me the impression that he is forcing advice and information on his son that his son may not want at this time, or may not be psychologically able to act on at this time, or may not be psychologically able to act on at this time if it comes from his father rather than another source.

Counseling on boundaries in family relationships might be in order here.

 

[Tahoe Ray]

We have had people op's son's age come directly to the forum themselves and interact directly with experienced agents

Do you realize why most of those posters never come back after interacting directly?

Most fail out of the business.

Having family involved in your well-being is important. It's a path to success.

 

[WinoBlues]

.
It was strange as my kids started maturing into adulthood. It is a long jagged learning curve for everyone involved. I have five kids. From 23 - 51. Yeah, had my oldest when I as a toddler.

Being a gentleman of a certain age I find my kids wanting to sometimes flip the script on me when it comes to advice. Being the Old Man I have bucked it some. I can be a strong willed crotchety old sob. However, I find it nice to go to them for an ear and an opinion, advice. My kids are all very different, but very much similar. Like I to them, they have different experiences than I. I would be silly to not go to them. They love me. Same with my DILs and my SIL.

We as agents ask and offer advice to each other regularly.

OK, got to go rig the front sprinkler to squirt the neighbor kid skateboarding in front of my house.

 

[RobertAAA]

Gee whiz, I thought this was about my son's career. Then again, it sure is the perfect opportunity to impress everyone with your vast knowledge of slang, slang that had to have a definition with it. Don't recall much other than this but okay, if you say so. Why don't you enlighten all of us Lost Dollar and give us details so that those of us not possessing your gifts can better understand your post and perhaps maybe even the world.