DHK- this is what I try to get across when I ask for what approaches work for someone. And they look at me like I have three heads, and then start to abuse me for not wanting to approach former colleagues and ask them to let me see their IRA's so I can help them.
It just doesn't work that way in real life. I have let everyone know what I do and that I'm available and have gotten the kind of response that a big brother gives to a younger sibling -- a lot of slagging, or a quick change of subject. One longtime friend even told me her husband didn't want me to come over until she had made sure that I wasn't going to be hitting them up for a sale.
Veterans are usually at the level where just about everyone they have an appointment with is either a client, friend or family member of a client, referred by a client, someone who has attended at least one and often more of their seminars, etc. There is some connection of something to already establish trust, because they aren't making cold calls anymore. They have forgotten that a complete stranger who has not asked for you to walk into their lives and tell them how you are going to fix them will shut you down very quickly, and worse, tell their neighbors and colleagues about the jackass from company X.
People who know you in a different context absolutely don't want to share the most private of all info with you -- their finances. Friends and family will tell you about their health and their sex lives before telling you about their financial situation. I had a recent meeting with two sisters who were inheriting from a client and the husband of one. The husband got up and left the room when I started to ask his sister-in-law some BASIC questions, like if she had thought whether she would liquidate the holdings so I could send her the check or wait to see what she wanted to do. He thought it was too personal, and this was his sister-in-law in a close family!
So learning how to get a stranger to relax, trust you, and be willing to share info is the whole key. It's something that takes practice. And knowing what to say first instead of wasting time and burning bridges before you find it out helps enormously. That's why I was doing the "research" that someone was insulting me for. I can take what has worked from someone else, not reinvent the wheel, tweak it so it sounds comfortable in my mouth, and get rolling.
It just doesn't work that way in real life. I have let everyone know what I do and that I'm available and have gotten the kind of response that a big brother gives to a younger sibling -- a lot of slagging, or a quick change of subject. One longtime friend even told me her husband didn't want me to come over until she had made sure that I wasn't going to be hitting them up for a sale.
Veterans are usually at the level where just about everyone they have an appointment with is either a client, friend or family member of a client, referred by a client, someone who has attended at least one and often more of their seminars, etc. There is some connection of something to already establish trust, because they aren't making cold calls anymore. They have forgotten that a complete stranger who has not asked for you to walk into their lives and tell them how you are going to fix them will shut you down very quickly, and worse, tell their neighbors and colleagues about the jackass from company X.
People who know you in a different context absolutely don't want to share the most private of all info with you -- their finances. Friends and family will tell you about their health and their sex lives before telling you about their financial situation. I had a recent meeting with two sisters who were inheriting from a client and the husband of one. The husband got up and left the room when I started to ask his sister-in-law some BASIC questions, like if she had thought whether she would liquidate the holdings so I could send her the check or wait to see what she wanted to do. He thought it was too personal, and this was his sister-in-law in a close family!
So learning how to get a stranger to relax, trust you, and be willing to share info is the whole key. It's something that takes practice. And knowing what to say first instead of wasting time and burning bridges before you find it out helps enormously. That's why I was doing the "research" that someone was insulting me for. I can take what has worked from someone else, not reinvent the wheel, tweak it so it sounds comfortable in my mouth, and get rolling.
