Please Critique My Follow Up Letter

[Golddoor]

Ok, here's my 2 cents:

I personally do not mention that fact that I haven't been able to get a hold of them. That's a desperate and weak statement. You are also not mentioning a single reason they should call you - what do you offer?

I tried to upload my letter but keep getting an upload error so it's here: Free file hosting by Savefile.com

Thats a nice letter John. I take it that you do you send this to people that you have ran quotes for already? You know, those "Tire Kickers"? What situation do you send the letter to? Im not specifically dealling with just business owners. I go out and meet a lot of just company employees, such as receptionist and front office people that are looking for insurance as well. I try to qualify them as much as possible before setting up quotes, but I get some that I foward the quotes to and they then avoid my calls when I follow up. Either because they are to busy or just cant afford the prices I quoted. So thats who Im directing my letter to!

Alright I'll chime in as an English major ( don't correct my grammer or spelling I studied Children's Literature not grammer)

#1 Think of your letters as an upside down triangle. Start out very broad with a general statement. "Last week you received several comeptitive quotes that might have met your families insurance needs" They probably received quotes from multiple agents so this is rather vague. Then narrow things down to your plans (Aetna and Unicare). Finally narrow it further to you. Mention that you have been doing this for __ # of years and that you want to HELP them and will be calling soon to schedule a convenient time. Now you have started broad with a general statement and narrowed them down to you and your plans allowing them to come to the same conclusion.

#2. Keep paragraphs small no more than 3 sentences. Most people have a very small attention span and will not read a long letter. At minimum make it 3 paragraphs.

#3 Avoid the word I and do not include available times. You don't want it to look like you have no one else to talk to. Remember that your attitude when you write something will be reflected in the letter so try to be in a positive mood when you write things.

There is my 2 cents.

Thanks SME for the free english tutoring session. Makes a lot of sense.
I flunked english, as you can tell!!

Golddoor, you maybe should try something a bit subtle. Send a postcard saying "IMPORTANT news on your health plan! Have been unable to reach you by phone. Please call 1-800-xxx-xxxx." If that doesn't get a respone, then scrub them from your list of prospects.

Great idea!!

 

[moonlightandmargaritas]

Golddoor, you maybe should try something a bit subtle. Send a postcard saying "IMPORTANT news on your health plan! Have been unable to reach you by phone. Please call 1-800-xxx-xxxx." If that doesn't get a response, then scrub them from your list of prospects.

Now that's GREAT marketing...excellent idea!!!

 

[moonlightandmargaritas]

"I try to qualify them as much as possible before setting up quotes, but I get some that I foward the quotes to and they then avoid my calls when I follow up. Either because they are to busy or just cant afford the prices I quoted. So thats who Im directing my letter to!"

OK, lemme try one last time.

Read your own writing for cryin' out loud. These prospects have not been properly qualified.

2 tips...

1) Emphasize that there will be a phone conversation to follow up on the quote. I tell 'em it's a "feedback call". DO THIS BEFORE YOU GIVE THEM A QUOTE. Let THEM pick the time. If they're hesitant, hazy, vague or won't do it - they don't qualify! Put 'em in your e-mail autoresponder for regular contact.

2) Establish a budget BEFORE you give them a quote. If they're thinking it's $30 a month - time to move on!

I'll bet you're doing a lot of quotes, but not writing many cases?

PS-Invest in a copy of Jacques Werth's book "High Probability Selling".

Good luck.

 

[Newby]

I have been emailing out this letter to potential clients and started using this "Bradley Hand" lettering style. Could you guys critique the wording and what do you think about using this style of lettering?

RE: YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE

Mr. Smith,

I hope things are going well for you and your family? I have been trying to reach you by phone regarding your health insurance, with no success. I was hoping to have the opportunity to speak with you, regarding the quote's that were forwarded to you earlier this month. I would love to come meet with you and/or your family at your home or business, for a few short minute's, to further discuss your option's. I'm available for appointment's 8am-9pm, Monday- Friday and some weekend's. Please let me know what would be a good time for us to arrange a short meeting? I have re-attached your Aetna quote's and pasted the Unicare quotes to the lower portion of this email for your convenience.

Happy Holidays!!

Here's the one I use...short and sweet!

Previously I mentioned that I would call. Though I have tried several times, I have not been able to reach you.

[SALUTATION] please give me a call at [REP_PHONE] at your earliest convenience.
Thank you, I look forward to speaking with you soon.


Some people call from it, some don't. Just hit it and move on. I'd lose the fancy fonts though. Looks unprofessional to me.

Also, I would use a program such as Activator Mastermind Software - Makers of ACTIVATOR! for these types of things. Makes it quick and easy and you aren't playing secretary all day.

 

[Mc1ark]

I guess the one thing that I can suggest is the time you give kills me. You say you are available from 8am-9pm for appointments and on some weekends. This makes it sound like your not busy and sitting at home begging for a call. When you buy real estate do you want to buy from an established veteran or somebody who has only sold 2 houses? You need to build a value to yourself and take control of the situation.

For example, I'm calling buisness owners on Monday and I have no appointments for Tuesday yet and I have a prospect on the other end about to set an appointment, when we go to set a time for tuesday I will give them 2 options say 10 and 2pm. I will even flip thru papers to act like i'm trying to fit him into MY schedule even though it is wide open.

If you do not find this helpful hopefully somebody else will. I now just realized i'm going on about this time thing and the original topic was about a follow up email, lol. Still hope it helps.

 

[J.R.]

I guess the one thing that I can suggest is the time you give kills me. You say you are available from 8am-9pm for appointments and on some weekends. This makes it sound like your not busy and sitting at home begging for a call. When you buy real estate do you want to buy from an established veteran or somebody who has only sold 2 houses? You need to build a value to yourself and take control of the situation.

For example, I'm calling buisness owners on Monday and I have no appointments for Tuesday yet and I have a prospect on the other end about to set an appointment, when we go to set a time for tuesday I will give them 2 options say 10 and 2pm. I will even flip thru papers to act like i'm trying to fit him into MY schedule even though it is wide open.

If you do not find this helpful hopefully somebody else will. I now just realized i'm going on about this time thing and the original topic was about a follow up email, lol. Still hope it helps.

What do you say when the prospect says I cannot do either of those times because I will be out of town? Some agents think differently, but the "either or" option for time slots is what most people do and you want to differentiate yourself.

Wouldn't it be just as easy to ask them what time and day is good for them and see if you can fit it into your schedule? You can still maintain your ego and control, like all of us agents love, but you also help the person feel at ease, while giving yourself an opportunity to gauge their interest level.

 

[moonlightandmargaritas]

Absolutely!! That "would Thursday at 10AM or Friday at 2PM be better for you" crap is so.....'80s.

That Zig Ziglar, Tommy Hopkins style of sales is so old/stale/dated - not to mention not effective. Nobody wants to be manipulated. folks are gettin' a little more sophisticated.

When you let THEM pick a time for an appointment, call, or whatever, not only do you have a better chance of it happening, you've asked them another good "qualification" question.

 

[2112Greg]

Absolutely!! That "would Thursday at 10AM or Friday at 2PM be better for you" crap is so.....'80s.

That Zig Ziglar, Tommy Hopkins style of sales is so old/stale/dated - not to mention not effective. Nobody wants to be manipulated. folks are gettin' a little more sophisticated.

When you let THEM pick a time for an appointment, call, or whatever, not only do you have a better chance of it happening, you've asked them another good "qualification" question.

Indeed. Post of the Day right there.

 

[Mc1ark]

I do a few other things but I wont post again on this subject because it looks like i have 10 agents in a line ready to put me in a neuce and kick the chair out from under me. Lol.

 

[moonlightandmargaritas]

I do a few other things but I wont post again on this subject because it looks like i have 10 agents in a line ready to put me in a neuce and kick the chair out from under me. Lol.

If someone puts their stuff on here ASKING for a critique..what do they expect?

Of course, some don't want honest feedback, they're looking for affirmation.

If they want affirmation, they should get a dog.