Love your neighbor like yourself. Thats whats missing in the equation 100% of the time. As a Christian if I dont love we are clanging symbols. If a child is brought up by a Satanist and adopts that religious view, I think the gospel say He will reveal Himself to all men i. Whatever way he can. We are not the judge of how that happens.
I am really not clear on what you are saying exactly
It sounds like you are confusing different types of judging
There is judicial judging which a Christian is only to do in the church according to Paul
There is hypocritical judging, to judge on do the same thing which both Jesus and Paul spoke against
there is the Judging based on outward appearance and social status which is clearly not part of a true Christian
and there is the Judging ones fruit for the purpose of understanding and calling one to repentance which Jesus not only did but taught and the apostles all did the same
Jesus did not go around hugging sinners and telling them they are cool with God
But rather warned them of where they are heading eternally