Trying to Hold On! Need Help

[Larry Tew]

Lorraine, I am sorry that you welcome here hasn't been warmer. This place tends to have a pack mentality, and if a respected member has something critical to say, others see that as a free pass to pile on. My wife is a teacher, and during the summer months I also take family days from time to time.

In the interest of accuracy, let's review. A 21-year old happily married young lady with 4 children started a thread called "Trying to Hold On". Before you can "hold on" to something, you first need to actually "take hold" of the thing you're wanting to hold on to.

Apparently, the past couple of months have been occupied by children, gardening, family, and vacations... all good stuff.

I responded with my opinion concerning her plea for help and mentoring in light of how she chose to spend her time of late.

Others posted after I did, and the consensus was similar to my thoughts. Being that this person is 8 years younger than my youngest child, I would never be mean to her for the sake of being mean. By the same token, I'll show her respect by NOT treating her differently "because she's a girl".

Her follow-up posts showed a degree of immaturity and lack of desire to learn from those more experienced.

And then you chimed in about pack mentality and all the mean posters who like to torment the innocent and pull wings off butterflies and other horrid things. Since when did it become "mean" to be straight with someone?

But I didn't see you offer her any constructive advice concerning her request for help and advice.

 

[smokin goose]

Do I feel Mah II coming on? (_?_)

How dare you call anyone else Mah. She's one of a kind.

 

[Stephen]

In the interest of accuracy, let's review. A 21-year old happily married young lady with 4 children started a thread called "Trying to Hold On". Before you can "hold on" to something, you first need to actually "take hold" of the thing you're wanting to hold on to.

Apparently, the past couple of months have been occupied by children, gardening, family, and vacations... all good stuff.

I responded with my opinion concerning her plea for help and mentoring in light of how she chose to spend her time of late.

Others posted after I did, and the consensus was similar to my thoughts. Being that this person is 8 years younger than my youngest child, I would never be mean to her for the sake of being mean. By the same token, I'll show her respect by NOT treating her differently "because she's a girl".

Her follow-up posts showed a degree of immaturity and lack of desire to learn from those more experienced.

And then you chimed in about pack mentality and all the mean posters who like to torment the innocent and pull wings off butterflies and other horrid things. Since when did it become "mean" to be straight with someone?

But I didn't see you offer her any constructive advice concerning her request for help and advice.

I stand by my post Larry. You are respected by many on this forum due to your extensive knowledge and experience in this business, myself included. The intent of my post was to support a new forum member, not offend anyone, so I hope that this hasn't made us enemies.

If I have offended anyone else I hope that you understand my intent. If the frustration just won't go away I will travel anywhere in the continental U.S. and we can wrestle until we shake hands, just split my expenses .

 

[Larry Tew]

I stand by my post Larry. You are respected by many on this forum due to your extensive knowledge and experience in this business, myself included. The intent of my post was to support a new forum member, not offend anyone, so I hope that this hasn't made us enemies.

If I have offended anyone else I hope that you understand my intent. If the frustration just won't go away I will travel anywhere in the continental U.S. and we can wrestle until we shake hands, just split my expenses .

I stand by my post as well... and no, we aren't enemies. We just have a different opinion on this one issue. It's all good.

 

[Lorraine12]

Thank you all for your constructive advise or criticism. I appreciate your time and apologize if I seemed ungrateful for your input, but understand some comments did come off as digs. To end this, two very kind people are helping me and I'm happy.

 

[nylife11023]

@Lorraine12

You got the same kind of treatment that other newbies here get. From reading many posts here from people like me and you who are new, I have found that this is a good place to ask a specific question, but not to ask general advice on how to succeed because so many members of this group, as you have seen, really enjoy beating up on new agents.

As I'm sure you now realize, this is not a place where you are going to get a lot of support. Just ask specific questions about insurance products or marketing or rules/regulations and you will get good answers.

In my short stay both here and in the insurance business, if you want a friend in this business... get a dog (or a cat) because other agents will pretty much see you NOT as a competitor BUT as an enemy and will treat you accordingly, as no doubt you already realize.

 

[xrac]

I think newbies often get the reception they do because they are so ill prepared and uninformed about what they are trying to do. They pop onto the forum and begin asking the same questions that have been asked over and over before. Their questions show that they have not researched the subject much at all. In many instances it indicates that they are too lazy to take the time to search and read the wealth of information that are available right here in this forum. It is amazing to me that someone can get a license and then think they can't start selling and be successful without any guidance, training or mentoring. The licensing process is only a rudimentary introduction to what is involved in this business. Some of the newbies get jumped on because the very questions they ask show that the chances of their success are somewhere between slim and none. It is almost like reading a book and then announcing the next day that one is now a brain surgeon or a chemical engineer.

 

[Gooner]

I think newbies often get the reception they do because they are so ill prepared and uninformed about what they are trying to do. They pop onto the forum and begin asking the same questions that have been asked over and over before. Their questions show that they have not researched the subject much at all. In many instances it indicates that they are too lazy to take the time to search and read the wealth of information that are available right here in this forum. It is amazing to me that someone can get a license and then think they can't start selling and be successful without any guidance, training or mentoring. The licensing process is only a rudimentary introduction to what is involved in this business. Some of the newbies get jumped on because the very questions they ask show that the chances of their success are somewhere between slim and none. It is almost like reading a book and then announcing the next day that one is now a brain surgeon or a chemical engineer.

^^^^Yuuuuuuuuuuupppp!!!!!^^^^^

 

[smokin goose]

@Lorraine12 You got the same kind of treatment that other newbies here get. From reading many posts here from people like me and you who are new, I have found that this is a good place to ask a specific question, but not to ask general advice on how to succeed because so many members of this group, as you have seen, really enjoy beating up on new agents. As I'm sure you now realize, this is not a place where you are going to get a lot of support. Just ask specific questions about insurance products or marketing or rules/regulations and you will get good answers. In my short stay both here and in the insurance business, if you want a friend in this business... get a dog (or a cat) because other agents will pretty much see you NOT as a competitor BUT as an enemy and will treat you accordingly, as no doubt you already realize.

I disagree. I have several friends that are agents.

 

[nylife11023]

@xrac
OK, so you want to rationalize the mean-spirited answers and attitudes from so many of the agents here that are directed to newcomers because those who are new here ask what you consider 'dumb' questions and because they didn't do any research?

Dumb question, no research, or just stupid, why should anyone be badged, bullied, and belittled here? What purpose does that serve?

None.

It won't help those (us) agents succeed and maybe I'm wrong but I thought that was sort of the purpose of this group.

Tough love does not help, it just insults.

@Lorraine: this is a good place to ask about how a particular indexed annuity works or what a blended term and whole life policy is. People will answer you without saying you are "stupid." But this is not a good place to "bare your soul" and ask for or expect any kind of emotional support because all you will get is an internet flogging, just like you have already received.

Simple ask for specifics and from what I can gather by reading past postings you will be treated just fine.